We all want to create a beautiful, loving, and healthy relationship with our partner.  But what does that actually mean?

Healthy relationships start with us taking responsibility for how we are, and how we act in our relationship.

Are you able to talk to your partner about your feelings and emotions?   And not just the good ones.  Are you able to talk openly about the challenging ones as well?  When you talk about things that evoke emotions and feelings, do you both open up and create a deeper conversation and connection?  Or does the conversation get shut down?  Can your partner hold space for you, and allow you both to have a beautiful, open, and vulnerable conversation?

And likewise for them: Can they open up and be vulnerable?  Can you hold space for them with that?  Listening and discussing things.  Being responsive, rather than reactive – taking things on board without harsh judgement, and talking and communicating about things, rather than shutting down or slamming doors over things.  And allowing each other to have more open and deep conversation about the situation if you need to.

Do you have a good level of freedom in your relationship? And do you trust each other?  Are you comfortable with your partner having time out with their friends – catching up with them, and having the odd night out?   Or do you run jealousy – continually checking up on them, tracking them, not trusting them.  Or do they do that to you?

Do you appreciate your partner for what they do?  Do you appreciate the things that they do, and what they bring to the relationship?  We each bring our own special qualities to relationships.  So it’s remembering to show appreciation for that.  And not just birthdays and the big events, but the little things too.

Healthy relationships have these aspects, and many more. They start with us taking responsibility for how we are, and how we behave in the relationship.  Because what we put in, is ultimately what we get out.  So it’s understanding this, and working on it.  Being clear with our communication and our expectations – what we want from the relationship, and what we expect from our partner. Understanding our values and our needs, and how our beliefs help to shape these, and affect our view of the world.  And it’s clearly defining and expressing our boundaries in our relationship, and in the other important areas of our life.

These are just a few of the things to be aware of in relationships – there are many more.  It may sound overwhelming at the start, but once you begin to understand and work on these aspects of your life, you start to create more beautiful and meaningful relationships with other people, and a whole new world unfolds.

After all, a beautiful, loving, and healthy relationship with our partner is one of the most magical things we can create in life.