Taming Your Inner Critic

We all have an Inner Critic – that inner critical voice that keeps telling us we are not good enough, not worthy enough, not lovable, etc. This voice uses negative language and uses tools such as comparison, criticism, trying to correct us, and tell us that there is something wrong with us. Sometimes we use also it as our protection mechanism. For example, if we fear being rejected, we may use self-judgement to avoid being open and authentic, to “save us” from feeling rejected = feeling hurt.

The problem is that by doing this, we are creating even more problems, as we are rejecting our own existence of who we truly are. The more we are consumed by our critical voice, the less safe we feel, and the more disconnected from love we become.

Using affirmations, meditations, tapping, and other techniques may bring relief, but it usually only lasts for a while – until we get triggered by another person or situation that will send us back to our negative core belief about ourselves. So we need to address the underlying cause first, to understand that these negative beliefs about ourselves come from that part of us that feels hurt and unloved. We can then use affirmations, meditations, tapping techniques, etc AND bring in awareness at the same time to understand our painful story and the reason why we act and behave in certain situations, so we can then change that story and the meaning we gave to it. This then leads to using response rather than reaction – giving us a much healthier outcome.

The first step is to stop blaming ourselves. Awareness means we refrain from judgment, and instead we bring more self-love, self-compassion, and kindness to our life.

When we go to our stories and uncover layers of our trauma, we bring compassion and love, and we have the opportunity to make peace with our defence mechanism that we use to protect ourselves form being hurt. This process should always be soft and gentle.

Every time we hear our inner negative voice, we have the opportunity to pause, take a deep breath and check in with ourselves:

What is the reason I believe that?
What is the story behind it?
Is it true?
What valuable lesson can I find in this experience?
What can I see when I detach myself from it and look at it as an observer, rather than being a victim of the circumstances?
Our inner critic will never go away. That is just a part of being human. But the more you practise bringing more awareness, self-compassion, and kindness towards yourself, the less distracting this voice will be. We can learn to be our own loving parent, and learn to meet our needs that weren’t met in childhood, or in the best possible way. Because really, this voice is a scared part of us that needs more love and attention because it wants to feel safe. When we are able to stay detached as an observer, rather than identifying with it, we are able to offer ourselves compassion, understanding, and the love that we needed.

There is a tender, loving spirit that lives in all of us. When we are able to connect to it, we feel lovable and worthy, and we understand our true essence and how much value we bring to the world. The more we connect to this, the more we are able to recognize and remember the deeper connection to our loving essence, and let our inner critic walk their own path…

Kind words

I have been working in my own coaching and training business for a few years. People want to know why they should choose you over another coach and whilst I could articulate a little about the reasons why, I wanted to find out what those unique strengths were for me so I could ‘sell’ myself more confidently. I also wanted to find out more about myself so that I could use those strengths more effectively within my business and personal life.

Since completing the sessions, I feel confident about those unique strengths, what they are, what they mean and how I can use them in my personal and business life. The sessions helped to show me that I am using those strengths to great effect, which was a good boost.

Hanna is such a consummate professional. She is so personable and very easy to connect with. One thing I really loved about Hanna is her ability to take my responses to her questions and support me to dig even deeper so that I could truly understand what each strength was about, which meant I could implement actions even more easily across the strength. She shows things from other perspectives, which helped me to see the strength in a multi-faceted way. If you are interested in knowing more about how you tick and what those strengths are, I would highly recommend Hanna.

I had the opportunity to spend time with Hanna to discover my talents. I have done many of these types sessions over the years and what I experienced was something completely different. Not only were the talents that Hanna explained so astoundingly accurate it more the way it was delivered that really inspired me. It felt like I could really own my talents. It felt like Hanna gave me permission to see what I have inside as a true gift. Her encouragement for me to own my talents is what made me feel so inspired. I wasn't feeling so great about myself before the session and after it I experienced a spring in my step that I hadn't had for 9 months. Hanna's session sparked the catalyst to make some really big decisions in my business and I can't thank her enough for not only bringing me back into alignment she brought my confidence back. It created a chain reaction as was the beginning of allowing me to really accept the way my mind, decisions and emotions work. I can't thank Hanna enough and would absolutely recommend anyone to experience her guidance, professionalism and dedication to help bring the best out of the people she helps.

Before I started working with Hanna, two years ago, I was lacking awareness in many areas of my life. In particular the area of romantic relationships. On top of this, I had no idea that it was in fact ok to set boundaries and ask for what I want and need. So it has been a journey of discovering what it is I actually want and need for myself. It has been a journey of discovering who I actually am and also to learn to enjoy spending time with myself and appreciating myself more. Before this I was needy for the love from others, and I am still learning that no one else can give me what I don’t give to myself. I finally found myself in the most painful relationship with a completely emotionally unavailable man, and this is where I could finally start to see my patterns. Since then I have attracted a healthy relationship, learnt how to work with my emotions that helps me to create my own life filled with joy, fulfilment and happiness. I cannot thank Hanna enough for her love, support and guidance to enable me to create a more fulfilling life for myself. She has a beautiful heart and goes above and beyond for her clients.

I have to say that before I started with the Talents program with Hanna I did not realise how many talents I own. Before I started I was struggling with acknowledging my talents and gifts, therefore, I was always hard on myself and I generally had a feeling that I do not bring anything to the table. Working with this actually opened my eyes, how much contribution I bring to the world and how important my talents and gifts are for others. I definitely became more confident and authentic with myself and others. I very much enjoyed myself working around this with Hanna as she is a very nice, generous, compassionate and authentic person. She always tries her best to explain things in a very simple way. I would recommend this course to anyone who is struggling to see his own attributes and talents.

I have been mentored by Hanna for 12 months, and more recently worked with Hanna to discover and understand my true gifts and talents. Hanna’s compassion, understanding, and insight helped me to really uncover my talents, embrace them fully and understand how to acknowledge, enhance and apply them in my daily life. The information and self-awareness I got from doing this work with Hanna were gold. I highly recommend this program or mentoring to anyone wishing to grow, become more self-aware, create heathier relationships and be an even better version of themselves.

I absolutely loved doing talents with Hanna, I found it so valuable, I love how knowledgeable and professional she is. I was also fascinated by the accuracy of results and descriptions of my talents. Doing the Clifton Strengths test and then working on it with Hanna gave me lots of awareness about my strengths/gifts, how they can serve me, how I can use them better, also what's a potential challenge with them all, so amazing information that allowed me to own them, acknowledge them, use them more and I feel way more confident and self assured. A lot of things just finally made sense and helped me with my personal growth. I would definitely recommend Hanna, she is super intuitive, wise, compassionate, caring and supportive, I always feel safe and empowered after talking to her.

I would like to recommend Hanna as a mentor in a work with the talents. All meetings were perfectly prepared. She knew exactly which advice should give or what tell in a specific time. During these sessions I started knowing myself on a deeper lever, discovering more who I truly am, and what I could do to develop my talents. Thanks to our sessions, my life is more fulfilling, and I feel truly happy every day. You will also get a lot of smile and positive energy from her which is very important in this whole process.

I loved working with Hannah as found her very warm, kind, and very professional with excellent communication skills. I benefited from the work I did with Hanna as definitely have more belief in my abilities as the tools she is licensed to use really identified my strengths such as seeing the big picture, getting things done, and having empathy. I feel working with Hanna definitely increased my self-esteem both at work and life in general. I wish Hanna the very best in her business as she is one of the most genuine people I have worked with and felt she really cared about doing a good job and helping people.

Hanna is amazing at what she does. She deeply cares and has so much knowledge which has helped me understand myself and my strengths and gifts more deeply. If you want to understand your own unique makeup of strengths and gifts and be coached by someone who deeply cares, I'd highly recommend working with Hanna – you won't regret it.

Hanna, founder of The Sanctuary of Hearts

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